


Just Ignore Them

by Milk_and_Egg



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: After Murdoc Fought Big Balls, Character Study, Denial, Gen, Guilt, Mentioned Noodle, Mentioned Russel Hobbs, Mentioned Stuart "2D" Pot, Murdoc in prison, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_and_Egg/pseuds/Milk_and_Egg
Summary: Murdoc sits alone in his jail cell bruised and battered after his fight with Big Balls McGuinness. His conscious keeps him awake but he tries his best to ignore it and the feelings of guilt it brings him.Not much happens other than Murdoc arguing with his thoughts.





	Just Ignore Them

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone this is my first Gorillaz fanfiction so I wanted to start small. I hope you enjoy this kind of character study I did.

Crying can be heard somewhere outside of the famous Murdoc Niccals’ cell. Normally he would be bothered by whoever this dumbass is trying to disrupt his prison sleep schedule, but tonight it doesn’t matter much. He can’t sleep now with all the thoughts swimming through his mind. He closed his working eye and inched a bit farther up the mat the prison called a bed, grumbling in discomfort as he does so.

It was Murdoc’s first night back in a cell since his tussle with Big Balls McGuinness. He was temporarily placed in a one-person cell, so no heathen would poke at his injuries. His covered eye throbbed at the memory of that well-placed, but cheap punch. How was he supposed to know that these idiots have no rules for a proper fight?

He felt the need to turn on his side and frowned deeper when he physically couldn’t. When the pain becomes less noticeable he’s going to tear these bloody bandages off himself. The bassist wished that he could take some more painkillers, but he was locked up tight for the night. Even if he had the ability to leave his cell to go to the infirmary, he couldn’t without shouting for a shitty guard to help him move around. The muscly morons don’t patrol at this hour so that would also get him nowhere. 

Its moments like these that make him have that craving for a nice, hard, drink. The alcohol helps him get some sleep and shuts up the unwelcomed thoughts that occasionally pass through. Said unwelcomed thoughts seem to be here with a purpose tonight. They whisper doubts to the bassist and make him feel uncomfortable emotions that he normally wouldn’t feel during his day-to-day life.

The thoughts seemed to have sprouted after his small time on the internet today. Murdoc had chatted with a lot of his loyal fans about getting him out. Half of them seemed very enthusiastic about helping him prove his innocence, as they should. However, the other half were keen on telling him that he was right where he should be. Those ‘fans’ obviously have screwy priorities.

He hasn’t smuggled shit anywhere. Sure, he’d done some not-so-legal stuff in the past, but he hasn’t smuggled anything. He has loads of money, he has no reason to smuggle drugs or guns or whatever they got pinned on him. Well he _had_ loads of money until Noodle touched his account. That girl is going to hear some strong words once he’s acquitted.

_They don’t need you anymore._

Oh, there’s another not great thought, let’s push that one away. Murdoc closed his eyes and thought of the list of collaborators he has in mind to invite to his welcome back party. Snoop Dogg was one of his favorites, he’ll have to write something nice for him to rap on the next album while he’s at it.

_He was in 2D’s album, the one without you in it._

Alright not thinking about Snoop then either. Murdoc relaxed his face, he has been scowling without realizing it. He missed playing bass, it was great for distracting his fidgeting fingers. Now his not broken fingers were rapidly tapping the metal frame of the bed. The bassist heard someone shout the words “Shut up already, holy shit!”. For a brief second, he thought they were talking about him until he heard the crying stop. He almost forgot about that weeping fellow. Now it almost felt too quiet. He stopped his tapping which now felt out of place in the quiet.

Murdoc thought back to earlier today when he was online. Being online is a lovely break from all the prison drama. He showed everyone his plan that he scribbled on a piece of paper, both on twitter and in his chatrooms. The name of the plan is a bit long, so he’ll work on that later. He’s hoping that those he talked to come back in two weeks to continue with his plan… Except those who just came by to insult him or tell him that they didn’t care. Maybe he should have found a less likable bassist to take his spot.

_Nobody cares about you._

Now that one was just a blatant lie, he had billions of fans that came to his aid.

_More like 100._

Murdoc bit his cheek absentmindedly. The craving for vodka was now making itself known to the man. He wouldn’t mind being shitfaced right about now. This is usually the part where he blacks out, when the thoughts are at their strongest. His fans loved him, they did.

Some of them also asked about the new album. Why would they ask him when he wasn’t in it? He doesn’t care about the album, he hates that it’s placed where the rest of his work was. The only reason he put Ace there was for performing concerts with the band, not to make new music. Did the band think that he put Ace there to permanently replace him? It’s his band, so why would they continue making music without him?

_Because they don’t need you._

Maybe they’re just short on money. Noodle did drain his bank account after all. They might have just needed to make some garbage to get a quick buck. They might even be saving up for his bail. Now that’s a nice thought.

_They don’t want you back._

_They haven’t even called._

_They’re happy now that you’re gone._

_You heard one of their new songs on the radio, it’s actually quite nice._

The bruised prisoner sat up despite his ribs aching. He’s going to go bloody crazy in here. Not knowing what his band is up to is giving him horrible thoughts. Everything he thinks about tonight comes back around to some self-loathing bullshit. It must be those painkillers and those fake fans. They’re putting his head in a bad place. The one idiot claimed he ‘abused’ 2D. He hasn’t abused anyone!

_You’ve hurt him._

Murdoc shakes his head at that particular thought. No, he hasn’t. 2D might not have been happy at times, but he had almost nothing to do with it.

_You had everything to do with it._

2D should be grateful, without Murdoc Niccals 2D would still be Stuart Pot. 2D would be a nobody. 2D also loved his new self along with his new name and Murdoc was the one that gave him those dents.

_You continued to hurt him afterwards._

_You betrayed his trust._

_He hates you._

Murdoc could feel his hands twitch and vibrate. Why were these negative thoughts torturing him like this? 2D doesn’t hate him. He always adored him. He deserved everything that came to him. Murdoc’s hands stilled at that. Did he deserve being kidnapped and held captive against his will? Did he deserve being hit numerous times in his already dented head? Murdoc knew the answers but couldn’t bring himself to respond his own questions.

_Do you feel guilty?_

He couldn’t answer that one either. 

_What about the time you almost killed Noodle?_

That one always used to get to him. The 2D guilt-tripping thoughts were new, but the ones about Noodle were old and frequent. He has learned to handle those ones. She’s still here and she forgave him.

_No she didn’t._

Oh, hush yes, she did. They had a talk about it and he said sorry. She was mad for a while, but she came around eventually. She was still that little girl that came from a box to him sometimes. He felt protective of her and would never let her die.

_She still has scars from that day._

_2D and Russel certainly haven’t forgiven you for that._

2D and Russel don’t have any reason to be mad at the bassist. Noodle isn’t dead. She turned up after the windmill incident a few years later. Those two were just looking for a reason to be upset.

_You replaced Noodle with a robot and Russel with a drum machine._

A guy needs to make money somehow. Oh, Murdoc perks up a little. So, is this whole album about making him feel guilty for what he’s done in the past? Well it isn’t working if that’s the case. Murdoc Niccals has a reason for everything he’s done and will ever do.

_You haven’t even heard all of the new songs._

He doesn’t want to either. When he gets back to his band he will pick up where he left off and pretend that the new album didn’t happen. That will show them. Maybe he’ll bring Ace around sometime just because he’s a good mate of his, but he isn’t playing bass anymore. Ace seems to be a bad influence on the rest of Gorillaz. 

When Murdoc Niccals returns to Gorillaz the band will realize just how much they missed him. They’ll probably even apologize. He deserves it. Look at all the press he’s generating, from prison none the less! Yeah, they’ll take him back. They love him.

_Good luck with that._

**Author's Note:**

> Glad you made it to the end. Thank you for reading! Let me know if you liked it and what you thought!


End file.
